You’re probably looking for just the right words to say to your partner who wants to walk out the door. Your emotions will fight to try to save your relationship but there’s one word that you can say to your partner that will help you the most, it is the word, “See Ya!”
In human relationships trapping and manipulation will cause rebellion. Give your partner the best antidote by telling him/her to go and be happy.
I’ve referred to the movie, “The pursuit of Happyness” in one of my articles before. The brilliant scene is when the main character’s wife was so unhappy and critical of him that she wanted to leave town. His answer, “Go and be happy.” In other words, if you don’t want me or what we have, then whatever! Your loss not mine.
This kind of confidence will shake even the most determine drifting partner to the core. When you can stand completely unshaken by their desire to live their life without you, it kinda has to make em wonder what they meant to you all along.
And this is good. This person needs to wonder for a very long time what you are truly made of. If you get yourself together, get a different career, buy yourself a new place or achieve a certain level of success soon after he/she leaves you, then you’re the one who will laughin'.
A needy attitude will cause you to appear weak. Weakness is pitied, strength is admired. Stand up for yourself and tell your partner that you want more than someone who can’t love you back. You want true love and commitment and you are not willing to settle.
Tell em to go – say something like, “Go and do whatever your hearts desire because I'm going to live a great life without you.”
Nicole Gayle is the happy mother of two children and the author of the ebook, "What to Do When Your Partner Wants Out." Get instant download at http://www.whenyourpartnerwantsout.com/
Does your partner want to leave you?
Using your sense of humor to deal with your breakup
Keep your sense of humor and you will retain your power.
A breakup is no laughing matter. It’s a big deal, maybe the worst stress that has ever happened in your life. If you choose to react to your breakup in a way that causes you to lose yourself, you will go under.
After a few months of trying to save my marriage, I became so worn down that I was like someone who was on death row. I mean, my face was always sour, twisted, and at one point I couldn't stand to be around anyone. My life was being taken over by a huge monster. I was living in a fantasy world of wanting my husband back and became a "Beg My Ex” addict.
Then one day, I hit bottom. I was doing some grocery shopping and as I walked around trying to search for a number of items, the thought came in my mind, “What man would ever want me?”
That’s when I knew that I was being eaten alive by my obsession. So I decided to kick saving my marriage to the curb and began saving myself. I had to be my own life guard otherwise I would drown. When I decided to begin building from within, I began to regain my power. I gave myself the best gift: love.
By deciding to love myself, I didn’t care about my ex anymore. Whatever! I had the attitude that I was going to build my own life and there were just some things that I could not permit in my life like groveling. YUK!
Whatever issues I face now, I use my sense of humor to get me through it. It is not worth it to be so stressed out that you plug up your arteries. We can’t laugh at everything but we can manage life with a good dose of happy medicine.
Ways to use your humor:
Problem: Your partner says, “I don’t love you anymore.”
Reply: “Yeah, I’ve always wanted to get surgery on that.”
Problem: Your married partner says, “I want a divorce!”
Reply: “Good idea, I’ll get started on that STAT!
Problem: Your partner threatens you.
Reply: “I don’t think you want to go there. I used to work for the CIA.”
Problem: Your husband/boyfriend’s with someone else - works hard to make your jealous.
Reply: “Don’t you wish your girlfriend was hot like me!”
Are You a Beg My Ex Addict?
I’ve written many articles with the main theme of self love and respect when someone whom you love wants out or has already gone. And I have read many articles on how to get an ex back.
If you believe that you deserve better than being dumped, then you’ll want to listen to what I have to say.
You were not created to beg, whether its feeling financially improvised or at the mercies of an ex. It is beneath your dignity and worth as a human being.
There’s nothing wrong with wanting to save your relationship or family but when it consumes your life that you’re literally obsessed so much so that you cheat yourself in the process, this is when you are not functioning from a place of love.
There’s true love and then there’s addiction. True love will cause you to love yourself first by protecting your dignity and self worth.
Addiction will cause you to grovel, manipulate, appease, be a doormat, stay in denial, promise your ex you’ll change, tell your ex how much you love him/her etc. Addiction to a fantasy of wanting a relationship will literally drive you to do things that you may regret.
If you are a “Beg My Ex” addict, you’ll need to detox by allowing yourself to detach from wishful thinking and begin dealing with reality. When you deal with reality, you can reinvent yourself and make your life so amazing. When you begin to do life from this point of view, you’ll attract only the best to you.
You are better than begging because you were born to rule. Begging is for folks who don’t know their true identity. Beggars don’t understand that they don’t have to come down low to get what they want out of life.
Nicole Gayle is the Author of the ebook, “What to Do When Your Partner Wants Out,” written after the breakup of her marriage of 8 years. Nicole recently appeared on City TV’s Breakfast Television to talk about her book. www.citytv.com. Get instant download now at www.whenyourpartnerwantsout.com and subscribe to her blog at www.whenyourpartnerwantsout.blogspot.com
Taking Care of Your Finances
Taking care of your finances may be the last thing on your mind as you are dealing with the emotional trauma of hearing that your relationship may be over permanently. But you need to make decisions that will help to protect you even while you're feeling devastated.
First thing that you need to do is to make a trip to your local bank. Make an appointment with a financial advisor there so that you can get the help you need to sort out your present financial situation.
Remember that there is nothing wrong with using your common sense. Many individuals delay making these kinds of decisions during a breakup because it is too much to face or they remain in denial about their partner's feelings.
You cannot afford to be unattentive in this area. You will need help from a lawyer or local community service to draft up a proper separation agreement that includes division of property if you have any. Ask a friend or family member to help you look for these services.
The sooner you start dealing with this and other things, the more control you will have over the present events in your life that may be spiralling out of control.
Having this kind of confidence to make decisions that are right for you will also send your partner a very strong message. He/she may have seen you devastated by the news of the departure and you may have resorted to begging him/her to stay with you or other types of desperates acts.
It might just be the wakeup call that your partner needs to reevaluate the decision to leave you. Respond in ways that are unexpected, like remaining calm, telling your partner to go and taking control of decisions and it will boost your self confidence while leaving your partner with a whole lot to think about.
Here are some things to think about:
1. Open up a separate bank account and do your banking from there. ie. get your pay cheque direct deposited into your new account.
2. Take a look at your RRSP's, Life Insurance, Will, etc. You need to change the beneficiary for these. If your relationship with your partner changes in the future, you can always switch back.
3. If you are already separated and are the primary caregiver, make sure that you have drafted up an agreement to receive the proper child support. There are local family justice services that help with this
4. Talk to your advisor about your investments, line of credit, savings, bills etc.
5. You can continue paying joint bills with your partner but you don't have to do so from a joint account.
6. Change your PIN number for your banking cards and get new credit cards in your name only.
