When it comes to your breakup or marriage crisis, happiness maybe the last thing on your mind. Our culture teaches us that by and large, happiness is based on being in a relationship with someone who makes us feel good. So we have a huge majority of individuals leaving decent relationship in pursuit of happiness. We often believe that the grass is always greener on the other side.
What they fail to include is that true happiness starts from within. More than likely, your partner does not have true happiness within which has nothing to do with you. If you don't agree, take a look at your partners behavior and see how he/she responds to you during and/or after the breakup. Happy people don't blame other people for not being happy, they don't cheat on other people, they are not abusive, bitter, resentful, selfish, nor self centered. Happy people are kind and at peace with themselves. When you "get" what I'm saying here, you will have no time to take all of the blame for the breakup.
It works like this: As human beings, we are creators. The chair that you are sitting on came from an idea. The person who invented the chair found the proper parts to put it together so that we can actually "see" what he was thinking all along. In fact, the chair came from within the creator, the chair was not outside of him.
This is a basic example, but when you are able to fully understand this principle, it will change your life. You will see that you have within you the ability to create anything that you wish to manifest into reality and that nothing on the outside can control how you feel.
Our thoughts are actually creating our feelings but we have control over our thoughts and we are able to shape our thoughts by what we say out loud.
You may be facing the most difficult crisis in your life but it is worth it to create the level of happiness that you want and it is not based on what your partner or EX does. It is what you do that counts. Get happy right now. When you are able to do so, everything in your life will elevate itself to the level that you have grown to.
Nicole Gayle is the Author of the e-book, "What to Do When Your Partner Wants Out," - get instant download and create the happiness that you deserve at http://www.whenyourpartnerwantsout.com/
True Happiness Starts Within
How to emotionally divorce your EX or drifting partner
Attachments are usually formed when there are positive emotions between two lovers but when a relationship is in crisis or a partner has left, it is important to know how to cope with negative emotions.
The best coping strategy is counterintuitive. Your emotions will want to hold on inspite of what you may hear or see. Faced with the truth, you may try to protect "what you have" by reacting from panic but this rarely works. Reacting from shock and panic will cause you to lose your power.
The news of someone leaving or the sight of a drifting partner will cause an imbalance of power in the relationship. Power imbalances in relationships are unhealthy and can only lead to dysfunction.
When you choose to emotionally divorce your EX or drifting partner you cut him/her off from your emotions so that you do not keep bleeding. If you keep the attachment, you are holding onto a fantasy which will only cause you more pain because of unmet needs. More than likely you are holding your partner responsible for your happiness and no one can make you happy but YOU.
Begin by setting up boundaries for yourself and cut yourself off from the dead energy that is causing you so much pain. When I decided to also emotionally check out, I just did not care anymore and this attitude helped me a great deal to becoming the best woman I have ever been. I thought I had true love but I did not. True love is the ability to love yourself enough to not settle for someone who does not deserve you.
Nicole Gayle is the author of the ebook, "What to Do When Your Partner Wants Out." Get it now at www.whenyourpartnerwantsout.com
Just Breakup? Why You Need to Leave Your EX alone
You may be ranting and raving about how utterly selfish, cold and/or calculating your partner was when he wanted out of your relationship and there may be a lot of truth to your side of the story. When people feel trapped, they will often make very selfish and self centered decisions by placing their needs before the needs of anyone else.
Take that as a hint that you need to put your own needs first by leaving your EX alone. Rejection is never easy and begging for a second chance is hateful and disgraceful to your own soul.
Here are some reasons why you need to leave your partner alone:
1.You don't have the right to violate someone else's will. In other words, if you manipulate, there will be consequences.
2.It is clear that your relationship is broken. Accept truth and refuse to live in denial.
3.Your relationship was probably not all you're thinking it was. If you really pull back, you'll see
that more than likely you weren't happy either.
4.If your partner left you for someone else, then you shouldn't betray yourself by wanting him back.
5.You did not have true love, if it was, it would last.
6.Your partner most likely was not the right person for you to begin with no matter how long you were together.
7.Chasing your EX is a dysfunctional behavior. 8.He already knows you want him back and he doesn't care.
9.You can take responsibility for living a great life.
10.You are better than that and you deserve more.
Aside from all of the above, you need to heal and this takes time. A breakup is much like a loss and you will go through the stages of grieving over what you had and what you lost. Everyone deals with loss in their own way but it if said that it can take up to 18 months to totally flush it out of your system.
Surround yourself with family and friends to help you through this difficult time as well as get yourself some personal counseling. Healing is about detachment. When you are able to detach and disconnect, the longing you are feeling for your EX will be gone. When this happens, you will feel like you want to climb Mount Everest. I've been there and now I feel so much sexier than I've ever felt in my entire life.
Good riddance!
Nicole Gayle is the Author of the e-book, "What to Do When Your Partner Wants Out," - this e-book is not for everyone, it is for people who want to learn the secrets to becoming more attractive, happier, and secure. If this describes you, go to http://www.whenyourpartnerwantsout.com/ for an instant download.
