You Can’t Make Your Partner Stay by Begging

Facing a breakup feels devastating. I’ve been there. You have feelings of loss, fear, hopelessness along with feeling like you’ve failed. My husband wanted out of our marriage of 8 years when our second child was only 10 months old.

I was completely caught off guard. I thought we had alot going for us. We had even began trying for a third child. I begged him to stay, change his mind, rethink, go to counseling. All of the classic groveling techniques that only rendered me even more powerless in the face of rejection.

My pregnancy was very difficult and after our son was born, I couldn’t walk. I had a dislocated pelvis which sometimes happens to women during pregnancy. I was also on maternity benefits – not much to survive on as I was faced with being a single parent.

I told him to go after three weeks of writing love letters, chasing him, trying to get him to think about our family because he was determined to go.

Strangely enough, I was ok with him gone until a bombshell confession. I learned that he began seeing a woman only three weeks after leaving.

I felt destroyed because he had promised me that he just felt that he needed to go because he was not happy and that he was not seeing anyone nor had anyone in mind, so I believed him and respected his need to go figure things out.

This made me feel so dishonored and disrespected as a woman and brought me into a vicious dysfunctional roller coaster and I would go back and forth with desiring for us to be together and would do so even after what I thought was an “innocent mistake.”

But love can only be built on foundations like honesty, integrity, trust, truth, and shared values. If you have been faced with a breakup, know that you deserve more than begging and you deserve someone who will love you with all of the passion and truth that you were born to experience.

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