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Why you can no longer trust the person who wants out

You trusted this person to love you forever but when you hear that your relationship has reached its end, you must no longer place your trust in the relationship or the one you love.

I reacted for months on pure emotions instead of logic. The stress of my breakup caused me to be unable to make decisions that was right for me. I was also so busy trying to get my marriage back that I actually short changed myself. You must make yourself and your children(if you have any) your number 1 priority - it's not selfish, it's just wise.

When we are hurting, we want to reach out to the people we believe care about us. You need trust to build true intimacy and when a relationship is broken, it puts trust in jeopardy. Your ex or soon to be ex cannot be your rock. You relied on this person to be there for you and instinctly, you'll want to keep the emotional connection alive. But you cannot let this person know all about what your plans are during your breakup. He/she should be on a need to know basis. At this point, your contact should be minimal. You may have already made the mistake of sharing too much information which could backfire in the future.

You must surround yourself with a network of people who can help you deal with the emotional trauma of abandonment. Dont pour out your heart and soul to someone who no longer wants to share your life.

I'm not advocating that you start a war with this person. Face the truth that you're on different teams now and making decisions that are in your best interest is what you need to do to protect yourself.

Think: Just in case.

Always get the advice of wise counsel before agreeing to anything that your ex or soon to be wants. Don't just go along because you once had a relationship together or being nice will help change his/her mind. You could be shocked to know that you're left with nothing because you thought you trusted this person - just as you thought you trusted this person to love you forever.

The bottom line is: you can't trust a heart that wants to abandon you or one that has betrayed you. When it's difficult to make decision, rely on those who can help guide you so that you're not left completely stripped and empty handed.

Nicole Gayle is the author of the ebook, "What To Do When Your Partner Wants Out," written after the breakup of her marriage of 8 years. Nicole recently appeared on City TV's Breakfast Television to talk about her book. Get instant download at

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