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Why you can’t save your relationship until you save yourself

Are you reacting out of panic because the one you love is drifting away? What you do from this moment can either lead you down a path with even more pain or could possible restore your relationship.

When most people attempt to save a relationship they will do things like dragging the unwilling partner to counseling, reasoning, bargaining, promising to change or try to pacify their partners while living in fear that their partners is moving further away.

The key to the possibility of restoring your relationship is internal change. This means you have to stop reacting to your partner’s behavior and get off of the emotional roller coaster.

Get out of your partners space and out of your partners face. Stop hijacking. The reason why all of what you are doing is not working is because anything that resembles trying to change your partners mind is seen as nagging which equates to weakness. If you remain weak by trying to be rational with your partner’s way of thinking, he/she will find you less attractive and will be triggered to get away from you.

If you are seen as a strong, secure and confident person who does not hold your partner hostage then he/she will be triggered to respect you. Respect is the key to influencing a drifting partner.

When you decide to save yourself, you will have enough guts to change your inner world and take yourself to the next level of personal growth. When you change, you will be seen from a new perspective and you will have the ability to change your environment.

No easy way about it. It is not what your partner does, but what you do that counts. You have the power within to create. And you have to decide whether you will demand more of yourself this year or accept mediocrity. Grow into being a person who is not moved by what someone else does.

Save yourself and rule your life.

Nicole Gayle is the Author of the e-book, What To Do When Your Partner Wants Out,” written to help you deal with your breakup. Visit for instant download.

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