2. Share responsibility for the breakdown of your relationship. Including asking for forgiveness if appropriate.
6. Cease all contact:
- Do not send emails.
- Do not call.
- Do not send text messages.
- Try to avoid places where you might see him/her.
- Do not arrange to meet up with your ex or suggest going out as friends.
- If your ex has already moved out, do not arrange to go to his/her new place.
7. Do not develop a co-dependent relationship with your ex. Get active and explore new interests.
8. There is no such thing as being friends if you’re still emotionally attached.
9. Don’t self hate or spiral into massive self pity.
10. If you are to meet with your ex for some reason like talking about child care arrangements, look your best and keep it brief.
11. Always try to appear happy and confident even if you are chopped up inside.
12. Don’t go there by trying to talk about the relationship:
- Do not promise you will change.
- Do not beg for him/her to come back to be with you.
- Do not try to get him/her to go to counseling.
- Do not buy him/her gifts for ANY special occasion or to show how much you care.
- Do not try to reason with your ex.
13. Don’t drag your family or friends in the middle of it unless you are being abused/harmed.
14. Do not have angry outbursts or take revenge. If you are insulted, stand up for yourself and refuse to tolerate disrespect. Tip: change your contact information if you have to.
15. Do not snoop around in his/her things or stalk your ex. Don’t try to hack into his/her email or go through mail.
16. If your breakup was the result of infidelity, you may have legal recourse if your ex files for divorce.
17. If you have children, make them your #1 priority. Nurture them by spending extra time doing the things they love. Do not rebound into a relationship and introduce your children to your new fling. Your children dont need that. They will be emotionally devastated but may show signs of this in different ways. Watch out for signs that your kids may need to seek counseling.
18. If you bump into your ex use this technique: Say hello, count to 10, then wave bye-bye.
19. Know your rights if you are married. Don't bury your head in the sand and make decisions like you did as a couple.
20. If you’re using food as comfort, then it’s time to stop masking your pain while gaining extra calories.
Nicole Gayle is the author of the ebook, "What To Do When Your Partner Wants Out," written to help you find emotional freedom while dealing with your breakup. Get instand download at http://www.whenyourpartnerwantsout.com/.